Imagine a year ago, what a life you had, and how it changed in just a matter of weeks.
Do you remember that time your self-inflated ego had an argument with your ex-boss, for seeking better opportunities elsewhere while what felt like at that work was just a waste of your youthful time? No significant growth, serving their selfish goals for just some untimely occasional paychecks shackling your desire to roam wild and free.
Ohh Yes! how could you’ve forgotten how many times you’d been let down by people close to you? And you’d still reason that not many people have walked in your shoes or alongside. It’s never like they know what paths you’d taken to arrive at this divergence.
Happy New Year from Pokhara
Do you see now, how you’ve squandered all of your savings in keeping your sanity intact?
Remember remember. It was the 31st of December. The day you thought of not repeating onwards; how you’ve always had been and what you’d forever done.
You do recall the memory of being friendly at the concert with everyone but having a fight afterward, right? Hey, do you remember yourself crying alone at 3 in the morning? You know the alcohol had been the catalyst but the tears came from the real place. You had a few epiphanies that night, or did you forget them already?
It’s okay, 2021’s already gone. How do you feel about January 1st of 2022? The espresso, the double shot americano, and 2 hot lemons, did they cure your hangover and aftermath of a sleepless night? Did petting the Pomeranian and the Persian cat at the cafe make you feel any different?
Do you remember how you waited for the clock to tick Nine? You were there before anybody else just for the Bungy right? Were all those that happened the previous night just some additional?
They strapped you, hinged you and you were to fall. Don’t look down, keep your head straight, and have a leap of faith, they said. Faith? Isn’t that the very thing that you’re struggling to grapple with, you had this in your head. Life on the edge, I’m dangling my feet, you thought to yourself. “Yeah, whatever” you reasoned and leaped like a frog that had no strength in its legs. You looked and sounded horrible, stupid plus hilarious, all at the same time. The deed was done and as a reward what you then needed was another hit of caffeine.
Do you remember the traffic making you pay for a chit?
Do you remember that panic you’re having about whether or not you’d find shelter on new year’s eve by the lakeside?
Do you remember having alcohol in a sprite bottle in your backpack and drinking it so freely on the street?
Do you remember having a conversation with a friend on the phone while drinking alcohol and eating street food while sitting on the footpath like a homeless beggar?
Do you remember calling the crowd stupid at the concert and not getting beaten up for it?
Do you remember that accident that took the life of a human? Do you feel grateful that the one who died that night wasn’t you?
I went to kill my old self, metaphorically that is. Yes, I do. I remember it all.